Life

Health is a funny thing. You don't understand its importance until you've lost it. As I sit here I contemplate on all the decisions and actions that have led me to here. In my 30s with a crap job, no love life to speak of and begrudgingly going thru grad school at a snai's pace. I wonder if I really had any choice in the matter. Something has been wrong in me for a very long time. I thought by trying to snuff it out I could be rid of it but instead its hold on me has only become even tighter. Like struggling in quicksand the more I tried to escape the deeper entrenched ai became. Now I have buried myself pretty deep. They say that this what I needed to do. This was part of the path; the eye of the needle. I don't know if I believe them. I have been lied to so many times before that I almost expect it. There is really nothing I can do but pray tomorrow brings a better day.